My BFF and I were going back forth last night on text, just talking about the kids, the weather, work...you know the basics. Somehow our conversation turned into a pity party. I was complaining about how much weight I’ve gained since having kids, she was complaining how none of her body parts are where they use to be. Thank God we still have a sense of humor about it but these issues are legit!
As if it’s not enough...society is already so hard on us as women and mothers. Everything a woman does has to come with an explanation. From young ladies to mature adults. Our actions and mannerisms are scrutinized. We are taught from a young age what the “perfect” woman looks like or what society thinks she needs to look like. So, we’re told not to get fat. A woman is constantly looking at herself and noticing the flaws versus the beauty. This is one thing I try so hard not to talk about around my kids. The word “diet” is a bad word. Instead we say “healthy choices” or “healthier lifestyle”. Unfortunately they will hear it from some jerk who doesn’t realize the impact he/she is making with just words.
From childhood to adulthood, everything we do has someone talking. From the beginning of our pregnancy to the end, to how we raise our kids. From breastfeeding to formula feeding. From sleep-training to not sleep-training. To the way we dress or dress our kids. People talk about everything. They criticize everything we do. It’s like we can never catch a break. To make things worse, we do it to ourselves too! We are our worst critics. We do it to each other. There is so much mommy shaming going on it’s really disgusting. A humorous conversation with a close friend made me realize the one thing all woman, especially mothers wish for is, acceptance. Whether that acceptance comes from society or deep within us. It’s something we long for...
I guess the point to this Wishful Wednesday is wishing that we can all be kinder, to each other and most importantly to ourselves. It’s easy to complain about things we don’t like, it should be just as easy to complaint and call out the good stuff too. We notice the lopsided boob and the extra fat around the belly. What we so easily forget is the milk we fed our children, the 9 months of shelter we provided our babies. My friend says in our text, “and nothing happen to them, they just get better looking”, yes that may be true. A man gets to age gracefully with little to no change to his body. However, he will never know the feeling of growing a tiny human and birthing it to life. A man will never understand the satisfaction of knowing your body could feed another human and keep it safe from the outside world. He will never understand the saying “I loved you even before I met you”. He might seem physically untouched and in perfect condition while I have the tiger stripes and imperfections. But my stripes and my imperfections are a constant reminder of just how much I can handle. It reminds me just how much God trusts me that he blessed me twice. It’s a reminder of the special bond I will forever have with my babies.
I’m not perfect, but that’s what makes me beautiful.
I know what I need to work on and that’s what I am doing. Until then, I need to see myself for everything I am not everything I am not.
Be proud Mama! Be confident! You are beautiful, you are courageous, you are bad-ass!